Dinner Dates?


Most of us dream and when we dare to dream, we dream big. While attending a Girl’s Night Out, Pre-Covid, we played a game. I’m not really sure the name of the game. What I do remember is we had to randomly select a question and answer it as honestly as possible. Of course, I received the celebrity crush question and I didn’t have an answer because I’ve never had a real “celebrity crush”. So to try to get a response, the question was rephrased to ask, “If you could have dinner with anybody, who would you choose and why?” Well…

  1. My daddy – The first person I would choose is my daddy. When my dad was ill and in his final days, my youngest sister planned a dinner gathering for the family. She arrived in town on Tuesday and we were to assemble on Saturday. My dad passed away on Wednesday, so we never got around to the entire family sitting together. While I spent time with my dad every Sunday and on random days during the week, my siblings and I were never able to sit together in his final moments and surround him with love, collectively.
  2. Whitney Houston – Whitney Houston was my favorite singer and I still listen to her almost every time I turn on music. I probably would have annoyed the crap out of her by asking her to sing one-liners randomly throughout the evening. I don’t know if we would have gotten through dinner.
  3. My younger self – I would love to sit with my younger self and have a discussion about the years between the ages of 22-35. After graduating college with my undergraduate degree and obtaining my first job I became very stagnant in life. I was content and satisfied and didn’t push myself too much beyond my comfort zones. Although I’ve moved on from that place, I’m interested in determining how I got stuck there for years.
  4. Chauncey Billups – Chauncey Billups is about the closest thing to a celebrity crush I’ve ever had. So naturally if I could pick anybody I wanted to have dinner with at some point in my life, Chauncey Billups would be the one.
  5. My husband and son – Yes, we absolutely go out for dinner! However, 2020 has been a very different year for all of us. We’ve missed birthday dinners, graduation dinners, random Saturday night dinners, etc. due to Covid. Although we sit together at the dinner table most nights, it’s not the same. Going to dinner allows us to disconnect from the norm including devices, the noise from the television, someone having to get up to refresh a drink or someone finishing dinner first and leaving the table.

Is it not normal to have a celebrity crush? Is it normal to wish for that one last moment with someone or do you just move on? Am I the only person refusing to sit in a restaurant with the restrictions loosened?

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Random Facts About Me


Every once in a while I do a blog post that allows my followers to learn a few things about me. The last time I did such a post, I had approximately 30 followers. I don’t have thousands or even hundreds yet, but I have definitely gained a few more fellow bloggers to move through this journey with me. Therefore, I find it necessary to share some interesting facts about me with some of the new faces. And please feel free to share if you can relate or if you want to tell me something about yourself when you’re done reading.

  1. I am the middle child of five children. I am made to deal with responsibilities as if I am the oldest girl, although I am not.
  2. I complete my weekly “To Do” list on Saturdays for the upcoming week and I grade myself based on the number of tasks I actually complete on a daily basis.
  3. I have one child that is heading off to college and I am overly anxious. I’m driving myself crazy.
  4. I have been an educator for 24 years and will complete my master’s program in August. Help me to the finish line.
  5. I am the epitome of a”team mom”. I cheer for every single kid. I’m always checking to ensure kids have the necessities. I’m always asking my son if the team has enough water or fruit. And I wouldn’t be a parent if I didn’t ask, “Have y’all had lunch since you’ve been here?”
  6. I love the sight of butterflies but I don’t like the idea of them touching me.
  7. I am afraid of lizards and frogs. Please don’t tell me how harmless they are.
  8. I watch the same episodes of Law and Order: SVU over and over and over again.
  9. I buy three purses every year, same two brands every single time.
  10. I absolutely do not participate in potlucks at work. I hate that all staff members are expected to bring something because it’s as if I expect someone to eat my food while I’m refusing to eat theirs.
  11. I love to travel.
  12. Purple is my favorite color but I wear pink most of the time.
  13. As much as I enjoy reading, reading from an E-Reader is difficult for me.
  14. I don’t know how to shop for casual shirts and/or tee shirts.
  15. I watch people’s Instagram Stories without the volume and then try to guess what they are talking about.

If you’re interesting in knowing more feel free to click here and here for more of my randomness. And again, I would love to hear from you. Tell me one fun fact about you!

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Interview Etiquette – Does It Exist?

Answering Interview Questions With No Experience: Pro Tips!

Lately, I’ve found myself in more interviews than one should allow. And the longer I sit through interviews, the more I realize how relaxed standards are at this time and first impressions no longer matter. My first experience with writing a resume and going through the interview process occurred when I was in high school. I completed a course hoping for an opportunity to be awarded a scholarship to a school of my choice. In addition to one person in the class receiving a scholarship, five percent of the participants in the class would be given an opportunity for employment at a bank. The requirements consisted of us having to go to weekly classes, take part in a three part resume writing session, submit our resumes to employers and interview for a teller position. At the end of the class, I was one of the students that received a position at the bank. Whoo Hoo, I got the job! Not! I was only there for the scholarship opportunity but I accepted the position because of the score I received for my resume and the interview. I was delighted to know how impressed the professionals were with my resume writing skills and how well I was able to articulate my thoughts during the interview. However, it appears that everything I was taught many many years ago no longer applies. But even now, I find myself with committees that still seek potential employees that live up many of those standards I was taught many moons ago.

  1. Arrive early for your interview – Four years ago I had an interview at a school approximately seven minutes from my home. I left with the intent to arrive 15 minutes before the start time. Upon arrival, I couldn’t distinguish the front entrance of the building from the back entrance and I parked in the wrong parking lot. I walked to several entrances trying to locate the right entry. By the time I arrived to the correct door, I was only five minutes early. Had I planned to arrive right on time, I would have been late. In addition to arriving early, this experience taught me to prepare for the unexpected and plan ahead.
  2. Dress professionally – Can we please go back to the black or blue dress or dark colored suits? Do men still wear suits and ties for interviews? Since I began my career as a professional, I have kept a black suit in my closet. My black dress is not always adequately pressed for interviews but that black suit and white shirt are forever ready. In addition to your suit or dress, make sure your shoes are free of scuff marks and are closed toe shoes. If you’re like me and wear lots of accessories, take them off for your interview. A simple pair of stud earrings, a wristwatch and a light bracelet are more than enough. And make sure your hair is neatly combed. Prior to my interview, I had two neat cornrow braids in my hair. The braids were very neat but also very unprofessional. I took the braids down and pulled my hair back into a sleek bun. Make sure you present yourself in such a way that the committee can focus on what you’re saying and not your appearance.
  3. Bring a copy of your resume – This day and time, many companies pull your resumes from an applicant tracking system . Sometimes your resume has been sitting there for months. Printing a copy allows you to review your resume and add any updates prior to your interview. The committee is okay with you saying, “I know you have a copy of my resume but there were some updates made to my resume. I have a copy for the committee.”
  4. Come prepared for the interview. Answer the question, please – Please don’t get in an interview and start rambling. We know if you know the answer or not. Answer the question and if you don’t know the answer, feel comfortable in admitting that. You have an opportunity to ask questions. At that point ask about potential training for any skills you might need. Refer back to the question you couldn’t answer to see if there’s a chance for you to learn about the thing you didn’t know about.
  5. Remain humble – I think the most annoying phrases I have heard in interviews are, “I know I’ll outshine everybody on this team.”, “I know I would be an asset to this team.” or my favorite, “My area of growth or my weakness is that I’m an overachiever.” What? What does any of this mean? You don’t know me! Why are you competing against your potential team? These statements confuse me. Help me understand exactly what you’re saying!

And here’s a bonus, while we’re working remotely, find a white wall and put your back against it. Please don’t sit in your bed, with your legs crossed, during an interview. What are some of the craziest things you’ve seen or heard during an interview? What are some of the things you find necessary for applicants to do in preparation for an interview or during the process of interviewing?


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Church Hurt

I have spent most of my life attending church. As a young girl, I was made to believe the church was my safe place. I trusted the pastor’s words. This was the appointed shepherd and I was instructed to be the sheep. While I was told to study the word myself, I was taught the pastor would guide me. For years I was actively involved. I started as an usher in my primary years and moved to the choir as a teenager. During college I attended church on campus and although I chose not to become involved in any of the ministries, I attended church regularly. After completing college, I returned back to my home church and immediately joined the choir again.

As I became older and wiser, I decided I wanted to share with the youth in our church so I joined the youth ministry as a volunteer. After several years of serving as a volunteer, I stepped into the position of Assistant Youth Director. I was the assistant for approximately three months before the director quit in the middle of a meeting. As I stood there floored, not knowing what to say, the pastor looked at me and said, “I guess you’re in charge now.”

I started in my role immediately and the first year I mimicked the ideas and activities of the previous director. The second year I asked my brother to join me in leadership and we grew the program, as much in numbers as we did in Christ. And then we started to have fun! Fun included Youth Sundays, Wednesday night Bible Study, Fall Festivals and fundraising activities that included the kids learning how to take ownership and operate a store. We were all learning and growing!

And then one day the former director, the one that quit, decided she wanted to organize a project with the Youth Department. But she didn’t speak to me or my brother, or even our faithful and diligent assistants; she went to the pastor with her ideas. He willingly agreed to allow her to complete some activities with the kids without speaking to the directors. While that was heartbreaking, what made it worse was she asked him to use money we had worked tirelessly earning to reward our kids. It was at that moment we found out the money the kids had spent countless Saturdays and Sundays earning was gone. Apparently the church had found themselves in a bind and used the money, that only two people were supposed to have access to, to get themselves out of the financial ruin during that moment. Now I’m a pretty understanding person but when I asked the pastor why was I not made aware of the money situation, he responded, “Because it wasn’t your business.” Aht Aht, wrong answer!

My brother and I, along with our spouses, worked countless hours making the youth department functional. We were all proud to be a part of the organization. I watched football players come to activities before practices and after games. The commitment was a glorious site. I could not allow someone to believe this was acceptable behavior and I would never allow the kids to believe it was okay to be mistreated in this manner. So I called a meeting, expressed my concerns and resigned, effective immediately. That was 18 years ago and our church has yet to produce a quality, long standing youth department. As a result, we are seeing members walk away because they don’t feel there is any growth for their children, in our church.

The way this story ended still hurts to this day. Not because I didn’t heal from the actions of the pastor, but because there were kids that wanted to experience what our Youth Department was offering and they felt cheated because they never had a first class encounter as a member of the youth department. I offer this advice to all people when dealing with church affairs, “Your actions can heal or kill a church. Choose your actions wisely.” While I have not allowed this experience to influence my relationship with God, it has definitely influenced the ministries I choose to work with. I attempted to work with the Youth Department once again but I found no pleasure in it. I still support our youth but I have found another ministry that allows me to serve God’s people without anyone being blindsided.

Have you ever experienced this level of hurt in your church? How did you respond? Better yet, do you think the pastor should have this level of control?



So today I am publishing my first ever newsletter. Newsletters will be published monthly and will feature more of my fashion and fun. To subscribe please click on the link and follow me to get more ideas that include fashion, traveling, product reviews and a little bit more of my personal preferences regarding everyday life products and hacks. Hope to see you soon!

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Dear Mom, – My Rebuttal

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Lord, continue to cover her as she has covered me. Amen.

Last week my mother addressed a letter to me in her blog titled “Dear Son”. I am a young man of few words but I was taught when someone addresses you, you respond. Today, I am writing as a guest author on my mom’s page. This is my reply to her letter to me.

Dear Mom,

Everything you have done in the last 18 years will not be in vain. All the life lessons and disciplinary actions I received to shape me into who I am today will be a daily reminder of who I represent when I depart for the next chapter in my life. The time may have come for me to move on, but the moments of love have not left. And for that I am thankful for all you have done and will proceed to do even when I am gone.

Thank you,                                                                                                                                              Your #1 Fan







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Dear Son,

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Dear Son,

The day has come and you have crossed the threshold into what many call “manhood”. It is now time for you to fly and as your mother I vow not to clip your wings, but allow you to propel forward. While it appears one door has closed, a door has actually been opened. Don’t spend time reflecting on the closed door and forget to step into the unsecured door that leads you to new paths. As you advance in your life, here are ten things we, your parents, will pray for you daily.

  1. We pray you continue to seek God, trust Him and lean not on your own understanding. Pray His will for your life and know that He stands firmly on His promises.
  2. We pray that you fully accept Christ in your life by being baptized.
  3. We pray that you become a strong black man that values your family.
  4. We pray you a lifetime of love, laughter and limitless possibilities.
  5. We pray your safety daily and we hope people see you for your gifts and talents and not the color of your skin.
  6. We pray your health and strength.
  7. We pray that you are always encouraged and when things don’t go as planned, we pray for your endurance.
  8. We pray for your sense of character. Remember character is who you are when no one is looking.
  9. We pray you resist temptation.
  10. We pray you have resources that afford you the opportunities to fulfill your wildest dreams.

And if nothing else, we pray that you know our love for you will never die. We are proud of you and will always go above and beyond to help you fulfill your destiny. As you move into your next season, remember, “You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. Just take the next step.”

Forever,                                                                                                                                                Your #1 Fans


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And We’re Out

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Today is officially the last day of the school year and my son has formally completed his public school education and is preparing for graduation. In past years, high school graduations and celebrations had become standard . What was once considered a very momentous occasion had become the norm. High school graduations were no longer considered an exceptional event. This honor and moment of achievement had been reduced to the equivalence of a kindergarten graduation, as if all students would reach this milestone. Schools no longer allowed complete families to attend this event. Restrictions were placed on the number of tickets each student received, therefore limiting support for the student. Many students would never have another opportunity to say, “I did it!” but yet only eight to ten people were allowed to share this moment.

And then 2020 happened… These students have missed so many of the events that we all looked forward to as high school seniors. They did not have prom, senior skip day or even a chance for the infamous panorama picture that took two hours to capture the livelihood of the senior class. These students are attending virtual graduations, having to participate in graduation parades or wearing masks to live graduations while sitting in discomfort. This is the year where graduations are once again gratifying. This is the year where people near and far want to acknowledge every graduate in the world. This is the year where people are wanting to dress up to honor our 2020 graduates. This is the year where graduation posts on social media have made us cry as if it were our own child. And we have gotten back to the idea of how important this occasion is, not only for our kids, but for parents and family as well. High school graduates are being commemorated near and far instead of being taunted because “it’s just high school.”

As a parent, I am glad to see how the students of 2020 have embraced the change. I am delighted to see how resilient they are as a student body. Having the opportunity to watch so many of these kids over the years as scholars and athletes, I always felt they were an exceptional group of students and not just because my son was a part of this group. For years, I said, “There will never be another group like the class of 2020.” and life has proven that statement to be true.

Today, I salute every member of the class of 2020 and every parent that attempted to make this journey pleasant and fulfilling for their seniors. As for me, I am appreciative of having this time with my senior. We’ve had countless conversations, lunch dates and made some very crucial decisions, together. This is still a time of celebration. These students have worked diligently to get to this very moment, the last day of high school. I encourage you to recognize these students for their gains. Some could use an encouraging word right now. Hats off to you, class of 2020. The vision is clear. “Hold the vision, trust the process.” – Anonymous 





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Breaking Generational Curses


Generational curses are considered negative patterns from your family history that are repeated in your own life. I was first introduced to the idea of generational curses when I became a budding teenager. I was getting closer to the age of 16 which was the magic number for dating. As I slowly approached my sweet sixteen, my interest in members of the opposite sex was growing rapidly. As the phone calls started coming more frequently, panic started to creep in my mother’s head and heart. I remember her practically begging me, “Please don’t become a teenage mom like me.” She went on to explain that her mother had become a mother at 17, and she followed the pattern by becoming a mother at 17. Although I was very much interested in boys at 17, I wasn’t THAT interested. While I was able to break this generational curse by not becoming a mother at 17, there were many more negative behaviors my family displayed. Unfortunately, they didn’t recognize their actions as cynical so no one ever begged me to break other cycles or helped me avoid traps of other obstructive bearings. I, however, knew I needed to spin out of several cycles before my own conduct became fatalistic.

  1. Physical Abuse – I witnessed so many of the ladies in my life allow men to physically abuse them. Some were abused by brothers, some by boyfriends and many by their husbands. Clearly abuse was misinterpreted as an act of endearment because the scars were worn as a badge of honor. It was almost as if the women were proud they survived the battering. This was the first cycle I knew I would break. I walked through life silently daring a man to put his hands on me. In my mind, it was bound to happen, I just needed to be prepared to respond so it would never happen again. The first time a guy raised his hand to me, I didn’t even flinch. In a very even tone I said to him, “Before you hit me, please call your mom and tell her to get her black dress ready.” There was a long pause and I was asked to leave the area. His activity let me know men are capable of processing their thoughts long enough to allow you to walk away before they abuse you. I refused to believe men could get so angry they couldn’t allow you to walk away or vice versa. That was the first and last experience I had as it relates to physical abuse or the notion of it.
  2. Children should fear you. – Wrong! Children should respect you. I never wanted my son to fear me, I wanted him to be a respectful young man. As kids we were lashed when we did wrong or even when we did something right but we did it the wrong way. I thought it was the way to get someone’s attention. If your child didn’t respond the way you expected them to, tap them a couple of times. When my son was in his primary grades, I would watch him climb into the backseat of the car and practically disappear. His answers to my questions were minimal and he would try to reduce the conversation to avoid saying something I wouldn’t approve of. Watching his trepidation saddened me. As a result, I started to correct some of my habits as it related to discipline. During my son’s seventh grade year of middle school, I decided I was going to whip him for below par grades. Whipping him was exhausting and the impact was far more emotional than it was physical. We both ended up taking a nap at the conclusion of the whipping. I realized that while I received whippings through the 12th grade, that would not work in my household. I had to learn my son was old enough to understand and it was easier to talk to him.
  3. It’s okay to not be okay – Unfortunately, I didn’t learn this lesson until recently. People made it seem like I always needed to have it together. And if I didn’t have it together, for the sake of people on the outside looking in, put on a facade and make it seem like I had it together. Wellllllllll, I don’t! Some days I have it together and some days I don’t know my right from left. Other days I allow myself to have a complete meltdown and it’s okay. I was recently ridiculed for attending therapy. I didn’t see the humor in the statement. It was almost as if I should have been ashamed of myself for needing help of any kind. Sorry my friends, I will not die inside for the sake of looking good on the outside.
  4. Speaking the truth – Why are we considered rude when we speak the truth? I’m not talking about the candor in simply saying, “Your hair is ugly.” I’m talking about the sincerity in saying, “Your behavior is unacceptable and inappropriate. It offends me.” Why are we not allowed to call people on their behaviors if it is having adverse effects on us? Everybody in my family moves quietly around the elephants in the room. They will talk about you behind closed doors, but they dare not cause confusion by saying things directly to you. I figure it’s better to address the issue because my feelings matter.

I’m sure at this time there are more negative behaviors within my family that need to be imploded without me feeling demoralized but you have to start somewhere. I will continue to break cycles that are hindering my ability to have the best relationship with God and my family and keep me from functioning at my highest capacity in every endeavor I set out to conquer.

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month


I am completely over it! All of it!

As many of you know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month and there is no time like the present to really focus on our health and wellness. As mentioned in a previous post, I started seeing a psychologist in October after losing my father. At that time it was the best decision I could have made for my emotional stability. I constantly think every difficult decision we are forced to make is preparing us for a task that is to come at a later date. So when Covid 19 hit close to him I was grateful I already had an outlet in place.

I was a little skeptical about continuing to see my therapist as Covid 19 started to hit closer to home. But I’m glad I decided to keep my weekly appointments. I am starting to understand what people mean when they say, “I am about to lose my mind.” Working from home has started to cause a lot of tension for me. Working from home while completing my master’s degree online and parenting a high school senior has started to take its toll. My biggest concern has been attempting to bring as much normalcy to my son’s new routine as I possibly can. I have also attempted to try to make this experience as pleasant as it would have been had he been participating in senior activities.

Many people have given ideas as to how to maintain your mental health but physical safety has become a bigger priority than our mental well-fare. I go walking every evening and while being outside is refreshing, I get exhausted trying to avoid coming in close contact with other people that are out exercising. I’ve tried watching comedy shows or Law and Order but everything is interrupted with news of Covid 19 and its devastating impact. I’ve read a variety of books, journaled, played card games and had movie nights with the family. At the end of the day, I’m over it. And this is where my therapist serves as an invaluable resource during this trying time.

Yesterday I went to see my therapist and for the first ten minutes all I said was, “I’m over it.” I would mention something that happened and then go back to, “I’m over it.” The longer I sat there, the more I felt myself falling into a sunken place. And it was at that point my therapist began to steer me to talking about all kinds of randomness which eventually led me to a place of joy. I walked into the office haggard and exhausted and was able to leave feeling anchored. How are you coping with feelings of anxiousness? How are you dealing with the stipulations placed on your life due to Covid 19? Are you really focused on your mental health? Encourage someone today, we are all in need of some inspiration.


There’s hope!


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You Can’t Miss What You Never Had


This week is Teacher Appreciation Week and I was more than surprised to walk out of my house to a yard sign acknowledging my efforts as a teacher. While Teacher Appreciation Week serves as a culmination of the entire school year, I am fortunate enough to work with a staff that shows appreciation for each other all year.

In the beginning of my teaching career, I opted to go back “home” and teach in the very neighborhood in which I grew up. Realizing money would be a limited resource for me as an educator, I opted to give back my time. My students, athletes and parents always showed an appreciation for me, not with gifts, but with their actions.While outside stakeholders showered me with love, I was at a  school with administrators that pretended as if Teacher Appreciation Week didn’t exist. We never did ANYTHING! As a result, the declining morale continue to plummet and we begin to have a large turnaround at the end of every year. I never understood why it was such a big deal. In my mind, I came to work for the kids, not a gift. For 15 years I stayed on the campus with little to no acknowledgement for my talents and efforts as a teacher. And it never bothered me until I crossed the street.

During my second stint, I worked virtually. We were unable to gather during the time of “Teacher Appreciation” because many of us stayed in different cities. However, it was then I realized it doesn’t take much to show someone you care. Our administrators cancelled all meetings throughout the week and gave us the gift of time time. Everyday they found a restaurant where teachers could eat free or were provided a very good discount and would send us the information. At this point I started to realize how good it felt to be appreciated by the people that considered you to be an asset to their team. Parents are assigned to us by default. Administrators, in most cases, get to pick us. I started to realize  I didn’t care about being acknowledged in my first teaching position because it was something that wasn’t afforded to me. I slowly started to understand the phrase, “You can’t miss something you’ve never had.” Having this experience allowed me to realize how much the actions of the administrators at my first school killed the teaching spirit for so many of my fellow educators.

I’ve been in education 24 years and am currently at my third campus. I’ve been there four years and I can’t explain how thoughtful and considerate the administrators are of the staff members. While Teachers Appreciation Week is a great time to show your teachers how much you care, this is something they do often and it honestly feels much better to work in this space. Our administrators allow us to have some kind of activity every month with a theme and it’s usually accompanied by a free jeans pass. Yay for the jean passes!!! In addition to that, we have treats, lunch, breakfast and we do a Teacher of the Week every single week. While we had to spend Teachers Appreciation Week quarantined this year, they still found a way to make us smile. In addition to the yard sign, we had a drive thru faculty meeting. As we pulled through the bus ramp we were presented with lunch, dessert, a gift card and a token that I’m sure varied based on your gender. In addition to that, all meetings were cancelled this week, giving us the gift of time. While our administrators didn’t think this was enough, I know their hearts and they have the best intentions for those that support them daily. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to have experienced my employers showing appreciation, with their words and their actions. Happy Teacher Appreciation Week to all my fellow educators! And if no one has told you today, please remember, “You are awesome and you make a difference in the lives of our most precious gifts. YOU ARE ESSENTIAL!”

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